Back in 2017, I wrote a blog post that eventually became the most popular post on our site: How To Be A Great Destination Wedding Guest. Seven years later (wow!), I figured it was time to give this little ol’ blog a little glow up!
We are so honored to help our couples plan their dream destination wedding. Each wedding couple takes great care to choose a stunning resort, beautiful venues and unique itinerary to create a lifetime of memories. Not only do they want a property that checks all their important boxes; couples also want to keep their guests’ needs in mind.
That said, we know that destination weddings are not common in some circles and some guests want a little more guidance on the “when” and the “why!” Without further adieu, here’s the New and Improved 2025 version of “Destination Wedding Etiquette: How to Be a Great Guest!”
I wrote this in 2017 and it still holds true; your couple is counting on your to RSVP asap (ha!). Just like an “at home” cerebration, headcount is critical.
When it comes to room blocks, your wedding couple has a strict contract deadline with the hotel; a deadline that cannot be extended. RSVPing early helps the couple determine if they have blocked the proper number of rooms. Some couples may need to add more rooms to their block, but they cannot do that until the original allotment is filled.
Some groups want to plan excursions and activities, but they can’t do that until they have a final headcount. For example, a catamaran cruise is a great addition to a wedding weekend… but the couple needs a final, committed headcount to choose the proper boat size.
In most cases, there is a per person cost for each guest who attends the reception or other events… these are costs the couple needs to budget for. When you delay RSVPing, this adds unnecessary stress to the couple. Please do your brides or grooms a favor and RSVP early!
If you receive an invite for a destination wedding, chances are there’s instructions for booking with a specific travel agent. The first gift you can give your couples is to book within the group contract. This saves your couple a lot of stress and anxiety.
Your couple is counting on you to book with their advisor. Behind the scenes: your couple has signed a group contract with financial implications for guests who book outside the group. Sometimes guests will want to save a few dollars and search for rates on 3rd party booking sites. Since most people don’t have experience with group hotel contracts – especially in a foreign country – here’s why this is a big no-no:
Most brides or grooms will never tell their guests this… they are polite and don’t want to stress out the guests. However, now that you have the inside scoop, do them a solid and follow the booking instructions provided. When guests book on their own, it causes a lot of unnecessary stress and financial headache.
Here’s another inside tip: the couple’s travel agent is absolutely able to work with you if you think you’ve found a lower rate. Just send them a screenshot of the rate you find and they will take it from there. It’s a win win for everyone!
We’ve covered how booking separately is not a good things for the couple.. did you know that it’s also not good for the guest?
When you book outside the group, the travel advisor cannot assist you in the event of an emergency. If you book separately, you lose the personal one-on-one service that the advisor provides. Third party sites typically offer zero protection to the consumer. If something goes wrong, you’ll be left calling customer service at one of these big generic sites… yuck.
Finally, guests who book on third-party sites are often booking “remnant” inventory. Think of these as the less desirable rooms that the hotel doesn’t want to sell themselves: poor locations, repeated maintenance issues or abnormal room sizes. After all, someone needs to get the room in the back by the dumpster). If a resort is oversold, guests who book on 3rd party sites are the first to get “walked.” Being “walked” is an industry term for relocating a guest to another sister property when a resort is full. This is a huge inconvenience that can easily be avoided by just booking within the group
From beginning to end, a destination wedding is often a 12-16 month process. In that time, a lot of life happens … people change jobs, have babies, move across the country and more. If your plans change and you’re no longer able to attend, DO let the couple know ASAP. They will understand! This helps the couple communicate an accurate headcount to the hotel so they aren’t stuck paying for unused rooms.
Part 2 of this “Do” is DO get the travel insurance! Travel insurance provides a refund if your plans change… there are NO refunds without it! This is less stress for you and the couple.
It is very thoughtful to give your wedding couple a gift. However, do the couple a favor and don’t bring it to the destination. It’s just one more thing they have to lug home. With baggage fees as high as they are, this can add an unnecessary burden to the couple.
This is a once-in-a-lifetime event for your group… make the most of it! Enjoy your time together! Whether its relaxing, going on excursions or just chilling by the pool, one of the biggest perks of a destination wedding is the ability to make priceless memories… memories you just can’t duplicate at an “at home” wedding.
Head on over to: Airfare Tips for Destination Wedding Guests!
SELLER OF TRAVEL: CST# 2071045-50, FL ST # ST38545, WA UBI # 603 046 768 | Proud ASTA Member | IADWP Member